obligation /obligaysh'n/ n.1 the constraining power of a law2 a burdensome task.3 a binding agreement, enforceable under legal penalty
Delicious.
From young, we are conditioned to despise obligation. Our earliest exposure to adult psyche introduces us to a foreign concept: a task we must perform against our will "because I said so." This is counter intuitive, a life precedingly occupied by unburdened impulsivity is replaced with a squeamish conflict between desire and action.
This feeling of internal conflict breeds an atmosphere of defiance. Why should I do something I feel is wrong? Like a bad case of gastroenteritis, repulsion spreads in waves throughout the body manifesting vocally and remedied by a healthy dose of "Mum knows best" discipline.
Rebellion then ensues. Like a crustacean receding into its shell, we transform into self protection mode refusing to comply with these instructions that defy our sense of self. A pivotal battle is fought, internally and externally that crucially shapes our character. We either accept conformity or choose to repel it with every drop of spirit we can squeeze from ourselves.
Failure to do so leads to submission. Trapped in an infinite helix of mind-numbing obligation and expectation, our lives advance chronologically with the illusion of progress. We "succeed" in high school, "succeed" in university, "succeed" at work, find the love of our lives and settle into the greatest obligation of the world - marriage.
Yes, nothing says "I love you" like two hours of embarrassment in front of your friends and three hundred people you barely know. Where you have to identify people allowed to attend your wedding, but not palatable enough to have at your reception. Positive sentiments on your special day.
Love is a unique bond between two people that is self-evident. Proof beyond a reasonable doubt is not required to justify it's existence. It's either there, or not. Commitment and selflessness are integral and remain unenhanced by a ceremony that leaves your credit card puckered and parched.
The burdensome constraint of obligation destroys fun and spontaneity, replacing them with stagnation and familiarity. The goal posts are firmly embedded into the ground, their chaotic fluidity halted prematurely. It is our never ending search for perfection: just a little extra touch to the cake to make it "better", a dab of marriage to make our relationship "perfect" and solidified.
At our peril, we disregard the uniqueness in imperfection, the stimulation created by instability, and the inherent value of a partnership held together by intiuative desire rather than obligation.
Now that's something worth celebrating.
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