Until Death Do Us Part

obligation /obligaysh'n/ n.

1 the constraining power of a law

2 a burdensome task.

3 a binding agreement, enforceable under legal penalty

Delicious.

From young, we are conditioned to despise obligation. Our earliest exposure to adult psyche introduces us to a foreign concept: a task we must perform against our will "because I said so." This is counter intuitive, a life precedingly occupied by unburdened impulsivity is replaced with a squeamish conflict between desire and action.

This feeling of internal conflict breeds an atmosphere of defiance. Why should I do something I feel is wrong? Like a bad case of gastroenteritis, repulsion spreads in waves throughout the body manifesting vocally and remedied by a healthy dose of "Mum knows best" discipline.

Rebellion then ensues. Like a crustacean receding into its shell, we transform into self protection mode refusing to comply with these instructions that defy our sense of self. A pivotal battle is fought, internally and externally that crucially shapes our character. We either accept conformity or choose to repel it with every drop of spirit we can squeeze from ourselves.

Failure to do so leads to submission. Trapped in an infinite helix of mind-numbing obligation and expectation, our lives advance chronologically with the illusion of progress. We "succeed" in high school, "succeed" in university, "succeed" at work, find the love of our lives and settle into the greatest obligation of the world - marriage.

Yes, nothing says "I love you" like two hours of embarrassment in front of your friends and three hundred people you barely know. Where you have to identify people allowed to attend your wedding, but not palatable enough to have at your reception. Positive sentiments on your special day.

Love is a unique bond between two people that is self-evident. Proof beyond a reasonable doubt is not required to justify it's existence. It's either there, or not. Commitment and selflessness are integral and remain unenhanced by a ceremony that leaves your credit card puckered and parched.

The burdensome constraint of obligation destroys fun and spontaneity, replacing them with stagnation and familiarity. The goal posts are firmly embedded into the ground, their chaotic fluidity halted prematurely. It is our never ending search for perfection: just a little extra touch to the cake to make it "better", a dab of marriage to make our relationship "perfect" and solidified.

At our peril, we disregard the uniqueness in imperfection, the stimulation created by instability, and the inherent value of a partnership held together by intiuative desire rather than obligation.

Now that's something worth celebrating.

The Scourge of Self Importance

Everyone loves firemen.

Saviours of felines, not to mention annual sweaty appearances in calendars brandishing large hoses. Such important people. But at what point does self-importance becomes arrogance? Are they as entwined as a hose around a fireman's body?

One of the greatest mysteries of the universe is why doctors' handwriting is illegible. Typically, an egyptologist is needed to decipher it. Or a pharmacist. Could self importance be a contributing factor? Perhaps he believes he is such an "important" person, others should be able to read his hieroglyphic scrawl. His time is so "important" that he can't afford to slow his writing to improve legibility. In fact he is so "important," people should move out of his way when met in a corridor because he is obviously enroute to an "important" job.

I'm sure most would deny this, only because they don't even realise it. It's subconscious, placed by society's expectations of a doctor's role and what level of importance that serves in the community. The doctor is far more important than the supermarket clerk, are far more selfless right?

Well, true selflessness is quite hard to find. Everyone has something to gain from what they do, we just wouldn't do it otherwise. Be it money, status, spirituality; we kid ourselves into believing we're "helping others" but really we're just pandering to our own sense of self importance.

Instead of acknowledging the selflessness of our actions, we misinterpret gratification as a reflection on ourselves which further feeds self importance and propogates arrogant behaviour.

To counter this, the human race combines our uniqueness with abundance to ensure our actions are replaceable. Put simply, we're not the only doing it. Life is full of variety, people share similar traits but their actions manifest in different ways. This should prevent people from becoming self important as they realise their "selfless" actions can be performed by someone else.

However this doesn't eventuate as fear causes people to be threatened by difference. The strong personality is threatened by the stronger one in a social group. Like a large dog intimidating its smaller peer, we are drawn towards the seemingly superior model. Fed by an upbringing of heirachy and status to partition life into easily digestable chunks, we attribute more importance to the perceived higher status. We fail to appreciate the homogenous yet distinct shades of grey that add diversity to life. There is room for more than one strong personality, we shouldn't allow fear to illluminate people as threats.

With seven billion people on Earth, each of us is really quite insignificant. Even if you wear high visibility clothing or a stethoscope draped across a white collared shirt. Modern society should be appreciated for its abundance and diversity. Placing objects in shelved compartments makes them easier to find but rummaging in a mixed box doesn't diminish their importance.